Calling-hours

"I dare say your mamma has told you, my dear, never to let more than three days elapse between receiving a call and returning it; and also, that you are never to stay longer than a quarter of an hour." -Mary Smith in Elizabeth Gaskell's, Cranford.

I had a conversation on Thursday with my friend Julie in knitting group about a movie documentary she'd recently seen focusing on the importance of community with regard to the survival and success of women in the arts. As a textile artist and author herself, Julie's passion and affinity for the topic made for great discussion. Her keen perspective caused me to think immediately of the ladies of Cranford, whose strong friendships and disciplined sense of community gave rise not only to dignity and purpose in their lives but also accounted for a very practical means of survival despite their near-impoverished circumstances.

Of course I'm a complete sucker for all the of the pomp and ceremony of the by-gone traditions described in the novel, but I was even more taken by the realization of how absolutely necessary those social practices were in the lives of the book's characters. The Victorian tradition of 'calling' has been elsewhere defined as a mechanism for the Middle Class of the era to introduce themselves to higher society. Yet Gaskell does not convey the 'calling-hours' in the town of Cranford to be anything of the sort. Instead, Cranford's predominantly female population understood their adherence to calling as simply the least intrusive, most efficient way to know the needs of their immediate community, for the purpose of making themselves near-at-hand to render brisk assistance and encouragement.

I think this description of the town's feminine personalities says it all: "Indeed as each has her own individuality, not to say eccentricity, pretty strongly developed, nothing is so easy as verbal retaliation; but somehow goodwill remains among them to a considerable degree."
Now, what's not accurate about that picture of womankind in kinship? And who wouldn't want to aspire to such an ideal as Elizabeth Gaskell has so astutely defined?

With that, I'm very eager to screen the film Who Does She Think She Is?


The film's producer and director, Pamela T. Boll makes use of her documentary to bring to light the cultural and perceptual challenges that come to bear upon mothers who choose to pursue careers within the arts. Certainly, longstanding issues of sexism are addressed in the film but according to my friend Julie, the takeaway has more to do with the artists' sense of 'community' or lack thereof playing the most crucial role with regard to each of the women's personal and professional successes or failures. Be sure to click the link to watch the trailer, it's very compelling.

Some of my friends are aware that I'm also purposefully striving to interact more with my immediate community. I think my naturally reclusive tendencies (hey, I like my alone-time) have progressed unnaturally over recent years from my disillusionment with our local school system and its attached parent community while Nathan was having his toughest experiences. Exhausted from having to 'explain' my son and his autism to teachers, other parents, neighbors and even relatives, with no real indication that anyone was any more enlightened for it--- it just seemed easier to dis-engage and not worry about constantly trying to change people's perceptions about Nathan or me. I thought I was doing best to focus on my immediate family, my closest friends--- having no real need to attend to anyone or anything else outside of that. So I became sort of a 'crafty recluse'--- and it really hasn't been all bad either. ;)

But I suppose the underlying need was there all along: The need to connect beyond the immediacy of my loved ones, and yes--- even the need to explain my son and myself. (Okay, so I finally realized that it probably wouldn't be so cool to end up as the crazy lady with no friends and throngs of cats crawling all over.) If I'm honest, I'll acknowledge that my writing the almost 40 posts that I have here these past few months has demonstrated a desire to relate. I told my husband the other day that readers of these posts must be so sick by now of me explaining myself and my motivations for various things. I really don't think there's anything left to explain, to much relief I'm sure!!!

I'm grateful for friends that have called upon me and left 'calling cards' via these posts by expressing interest in things that have interested me. And I love that I've been able to call upon you at your blogs of residence too. It's amazing how similar it is to the Cranford ladies--- although we're not restricted to hours of the day, we do allow ourselves sometimes to lapse into more absorbing subjects than Ms. Matty and Ms. Deborah would have thought prudent--- and of course our community is a much more global one at that. But global has been very good, with the friends I've met and the encouragement I've gained, I'm steadily connecting closer and closer... to home. ;)


(Cranford photo, BBC)