When pure sincerity forms within, it is outwardly realized in other people's hearts. -Lao Tzu, 6th century B.C.A couple of years ago, my older son gave an "About Me" speech to his elementary school class. That particular assignment came during a period of time when school was distinctly difficult for him. Given the challenges of autism, his thought processes and locution have always been very concrete in quality. If you haven't already guessed, he's also extremely honest--- sometimes to a fault. So it was certainly not by accident that he concluded his speech and then said to the class:
"Any questions or compliments?"
Nathan's presentation was received with better-than-expected enthusiasm and since then, my husband has often made use of the same 'language' in his work setting, with equally positive results. And who doesn't need a good pat on the back every once in a while? Even a kid with autism can recognize the benefit of it.
I was once given a compliment that took me utterly by surprise, and so welcomed were the words, I still clearly remember them from a decade ago.
The five of us were on a plane to California. It was back in the day when the Three were all still small enough to require a booster seat for oldest, a car seat for the middle child, and an infant carrier for the baby when traveling. Although many airline passengers at the time stowed away car-safety paraphernalia during flight and opted for holding babies on laps--- Super Parents (that's us) certainly did not. Instead, my husband and I went marching down that narrow aisle with three children, three car seats, and at least three carry on bags in tow. Of course, getting the kids and everything else situated in cramped quarters with other passengers still boarding was a tumultuous process, to say the least. Our ambitious efforts were met with many glaring eyes not to mention the "OH CRAP" expression on the faces of the people who were destined to be seated next our clan.
The Three were accustomed to riding in their car seats and once put in, they were usually content to be in them for a good while. I can remember thinking to myself, "These people really need to chill. Once we get the kids situated, it'll be smooth sailing... just wait and see, people."
Long story short: our children were an absolute nightmare for the entire 3 1/2 hour flight. They kicked the seats in front of them and cried non-stop for reasons that I can't recall due to the stress of the situation.
By the time we landed, no one and I mean NO ONE would make eye contact with any of us--- those poor passengers. And there was still the issue of getting off the plane.
Mike was busy making multilpe trips down the aisle to unload the car seats and get the strollers from gate check. The kids had calmed down a bit since we'd landed but I was an utter wreck.
Then, out of nowhere--- a hand on my shoulder. It was white-haired gentleman, smiling. "You are such a good mother," he said. "and your children are
so good." He wasn't being saracastic either.
I said something like, "Uh,
no they haven't been."
"Oh yes, they're such good children," he said again as he made his way past our seat. And then over his shoulder he said, "and you're a good mother."
I almost cried from gratitude. I told Mike the story and it made us both laugh. Maybe the man was hard of hearing, or maybe his short term memory was failing him. I didn't care, it was still a
sincere compliment that came when I really needed one--- amazing how its effects have lasted me to this day.
