Caution, reader: mental instability ahead. Sadly, the author has taken to speaking to fake plants.
Curse you, fakeus plasticus, you wretched species of plant!Yes, that's right... curse you! Mostly because I'd much rather blame you than face my own insolence, but it's February, the week of Valentine's Day and I am just now dismantling your presence in the form of Christmas tree.
"Just now?" you say, "why that's not right... extremely unusual."
Exactly. Look, I can't claim the title of champion for 'green,' but I will say that if it weren't for your unnatural resistance to decay, you would have been taken away at the proper time, with the proper reverence, through the proper composting/mulching channels and would not have been left to cause this amount of grief. If you were a real tree, you would have forced me (out of your own good nature) to bereave myself of you in order to keep you from becoming a fire hazard. As simple as that.
But instead, you've taunted me with your silent admonishments... "my, aren't we good at procrastinating?" and... "Why can't you just put me back into the box in the garage where I belong this time of year?"
Well--- why is that YOU, fakeus plasticus, have taken it upon yourself to single me out in your reign of annoyance? When I told Papa Bear that I would be taking you down today... he looked at you with nothing more than a simple, bemused sort of nostalgia... "oh, that's right... the Christmas tree's still up." He and the rest of the family had stopped seeing you some time ago. No, instead you've forced me to detain visitors where they would be just outside the line of sight of you. They'd been completely unaware that I had been keeping myself quite busy finding every possible reason and excuse, managing to put every other daily matter ahead of taking you to pieces for the past month and a half.
Well, no more. I am stepping out from behind this folly. I'm photographing you and putting you on my blog..... along with all the others that have 'invisibly' taken up space in this, my home. I am actually seeing your species? genus? family?--- whatever! now, through a new 'lens.' Yes.... from here onward, there may be no such happy purgatory as the garage before the place called 'plastic recyclables bin.'
idyllic homescape???---yikes!!!
